NaNoBlog 2002
30 days.
50,000 words.
No sweat.
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NaNoBlog 2002 |
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Sunday, October 27, 2002
Oh, grr, grr, grr, I'm in a bad mood. I made the mistake of posting to another writing group about my dilemma with this editor being willing to look at my other novel, which is unfinished. Of course they all think I should drop out of NaNo to finish it, as I knew they would. But that's not why I'm in a bad mood. I can understand why they'd think that, and they may even be right. But I'm peeved because one of them (or two? I have no idea because you can post to that forum under an assumed username & they didn't use their regular names) took it as a chance to psychoanalyze me & say that I always asked for advice instead of making commitments. They basically painted me as a wishy-washy person who was all talk & no action, worried too much about potential roadblocks, & didn't seem to have the discipline to write a novel.
Well, I'm not saying they're that far off--I am not good at follow-through & am 99% sure I have attention deficit disorder & should probably be on meds. (But I've learned that meds don't help that much anyway if they just make you focus longer on the wrong things!) But this person was daring to analyze me based on a few Internet posts (and I'm not nearly as active there as on the NaNo forums!). They don't know me, they don't know how I write or what I do all day, & they've never seen my writing. So it's pretty bold to point out my faults online. Though I guess it's not that bold if they don't post under a username I recognize! And frankly, my tendency to worry too much about potential roadblocks is a positive thing in many ways--I can see roadblocks ahead that other people might not, and it stops me from running into them. Sure, sometimes it stops me from getting places, too. But I got jobs & sometimes did really well in them (even while hating them...) because I'm good at troubleshooting. I can always see 5 steps ahead. Though I do know that one of my biggest problems in life has been second-guessing myself. And I had told myself in another blog 18 months ago that the 3 things I needed to remember were: (1) don't sweat the small stuff, (2) don't sell yourself short, & (3) strike while the iron is hot. I still suck at all three. I just wish I hadn't posted about it at all. I'm always sharing too much, & I don't know why I do it. I'll post something & then want to hide my face in my hands rather than see the responses. I'm always afraid to see how people will react. That's why I hate the phone & prefer the Net--I don't have to hear people's reactions in real time. You notice how this blog doesn't have a place for reader comments? Well, that's partly because I don't know how to do them & don't think you can do that with a free Blogspot site. But I'm also glad, because I don't really want many comments on this stuff. I wouldn't feel as free to post here if I thought people might write me negative stuff about it. Sigh. posted by Alison | 10:26 PM
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